Today, I feel grown up.
I am content with what is going on with my life, humbled by the positive things happening and happy for other peoples successes. It has taken a lot to get to this point, but it is so rewarding being here!
Today was an interesting and atypical day.
I am in GP – so that’s always good and interesting. I visited with Katie Biberdorf – GP gym’s facility manager and old pal – catching up on all the gym gossip. While we were visiting, my DHT article came out. I’ve been waiting all week for it, so it was nice to finally get to read it!
After GP gym’s, Phoenix and myself shared it, the support was overwhelming! Shares, likes and congratulations from new and old friends was nice to see! It’s funny; logically, when I think about the position I am in it is so crazy and I get why people are excited and really supportive, but then I think about the little boy who did Womens Artistic for so long because there was no program for boys in Grande Prairie and it’s crazy to me that people care, reach out and follow the journey. To me, I am just me; but when I think about who I am, the persona is so funny. I grew up idolizing so many people in the gym world and it’s crazy to think that I am that person to other people. It truly doesn’t feel real. When people ask if I’m excited for Worlds, I still say that it hasn’t sunk in – because it truly hasn’t. I grew up watching it on TV, wanting to be in that position so desperately, and now I’m here. Day to day, making Worlds is the next logical thing that should (and has!) happened in my career. But when I think back to the little boy who watched a girl at the Gymniks Christmas Show do a double back and almost died thinking that she was the end all be all (that was Shauna Telford for you GP’ers – SHOUT OUT!), it’s crazy to see how far this sport has taken me.
Everytime I come home, it is always humbling. Kids being excited to see me train and be the in the gym is what keeps me going. Why do I love this sport? Because it gives me a chance to be someone, inspire others and do something I love. Behind the politics and dramatics of every sport, there was a kid that fell in love with something bigger than themselves. Never forget that person. Sometimes it takes unfortunate circumstances, tragedy or hard times to remember why we do what we love, or once loved. But through the heartache, tears and unhappiness, we come out the other side appreciative of those times. Today, I appreciate this sport, this town and everyone that has helped me along the way. I could never thank every one who has ever helped me, but one day I will do my darndest.
Grande Prairie reminds me of my humble beginnings, and makes me forget all the things that frustrate me about sport, specifically amateur sports. It reminds me of the days when I didn’t have a coach, when I ran through parallel bars to tumble and thought Arabian Front Tuck was the perfect way to end my tumbling pass (contrary to EVERYONES advice) and I couldn’t have cared less – it reminds me of days when it was just me and gymnastics, and I couldn’t have been more in love. It upsets me that I lost that part of me for a while.
Anyways, through this incoherent rambling, I am here to say that “tough times don’t last, tough people do”. And you don’t need to know that you are tough right now, and you might not feel tough, but you are. I look back and see a kid who really lost himself for a long time, and I am not sure why – and really I don’t care. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t positive. But everything I have gone through has made me a better person today. I know who I am today and I like him – he’s not too shabby.
I think this was more therapeutic for myself more than anything, but the point is that everything seems to work out in the end. Working on yourself is important, and I believe in good karma. There was a time when I wouldn’t have appreciated these good times, and that is really tragic. I appreciate the support, the good times, the bad times, the memories – they will all stay with me.
I’m growing up and I like it.